long lost memories of a life I held
by littlemomo-chan
Summary: What would happen if Zero isn't the only one going mad due to blood lust,but certain pure blood princess instead.  I suck at summaries.the first chapter is K Y,please don't eat my soul I promise that its ZEKI.review or flame what ever floats your boat
1. Chapter 1 the thirst

To Jennie Cow, for teaching me that there is more to life than steak, cookies, and hating French class…

I own nothing, sadly, except for maybe my mind, which I am pretty sure I left in Hawaii next to a coconut but I'm not certain… hehe :P I am stalling, can you tell? Well let's get this show on the road. My first fanfic, EVER, review or flame if that tickles your fancy.

I feel all empty inside when he leaves, Kaname. That one stupid person that I couldn't let go of. So idolized, he was in my mind I would have given the fangirls a run for their money. Yet here I sight, alone, left with the result of poor choices. The walls to my once spacious room seem to be closing in on me. I don't know if it is the thirst or the fear of being alone that gives me this feeling. And I am alone, a lot, more then ever it seems. I used to feel alone when I was human, which was utterly and completely stupid on my part. I had Zero and the headmaster even Yori. That should have been enough, but of course it wasn't. I was too selfish; a parasite that used its host until it was it sucked dry of every last drop. And that is what I did to Zero, used him and than tossed him away as if he was nothing but a rag doll. Used until thrown away and then forgotten. It seems what goes around comes around; I now seem to be the one that is used and then forgotten. It seems that when you are a pureblood nothing seems to matter but your own existence and ones own whims. I am such a creature, yet I play a game that I no not the rules of. I do not know how to play yet it seems that everyone expects me to. Everyone wants to see the pureblood Yuki, but I have long sense forgotten how to be her. I have become someone else, it seems like I am different for each person, a chameleon changing color to fit the scenery. For Kaname I am his little girl, or doll. I smile and grow my hair out long and let him dress me up in lacey frilly (and lets be frank, ridiculous) outfits. I wait around at home for him to return, his perfectly groomed little bird sitting in her golden cage. He and I both know that it is not enough; no matter how much I pretend he isn't there I will always yearn for him. Zero. Kaname will forever be unable to slate my thirst because my heart yearns for another with a burning intensity and almost fierce devotion. I know it is wrong that my body longs to be in his arms even when I am in the arms of another. But no matter how much it kills me to pretend, I know it would kill Kaname if I left. It would be cruel as if I shot him and then left him to slowly bleed and die. Yet staying is killing him too. He senses my restlessness and every thought is like a punch to his gut. I know, for his blood can not lie, and his jealousy can not hide. Every bite, every little taste and I know it's killing him slowly. So very slowly… like rain drops falling I hear the words over and over again._ Killing him. Killing him. Killing him…._

"Yuki_?" _I turn my head to the voice, his voice_. Killing him. _No! My hands rush to my face trying to block out the world. I don't wanna see the look on his face, the disappointment written there. Even more so the pulse in his neck the steady blood flow. _Killing him._ Please go away, please? I will be good, I promise. Make it stop, make the voices go away. Please, please, please... I moan, deep and animalistic. My finger nails rip into my flesh; little drops of blood make scarlet tears down my cheeks. Blood? My eyes widen and turn a deep maroon; a haunting smile reaches my mouth. I look wild and unstable. Hehehe a throaty insane laugh escapes my lips. I double over and grab my sides. My chest feels like it is about to explode almost as if there are tiny little pieces of glass in my lungs and every gasping breath lodges them further in.

"Ah…" I gasp in pain I collapse onto the floor shaking. I feel strong arms grab me and lift me up, my body twitches and then stills. The world goes red as my body goes limp. _Killing him. Killing him killing him killinghimkillinghim._

The last thought that reaches my blood crazed mind is not my lover who I am slowly destroying but the other one_… Zero._


	2. Chapter 2 the taste

Hey, it's me Momo; I am back my little Zeki lovers. I totally apologize for the awfulness of that first chapter… I realize how bad it was and the lack of plot… it was so very short as well. Well I have been pondering life's many great Questions and have decided that sadly kaname is going to be in this chapter as well. Please do not eat my soul, I kinda need it. Eat jenniecow she is much tastier. Yes I did just throw her under the bus so to speak ;)

Guess what I still don't own anything and I still don't now where the heck I left my brain. (.)

So without further ado here is chapter two…

I turn my head to the light that is peering out from the cracks in my silk curtains. What's the point of the blasted things if they don't even block out the light? Stupid lights, stupid curtains, stupid sensitive eyes… I sit up quickly, too quickly, and grab my head as the world starts to spin; a sharp pain in my throat and head makes me gasp. This has to be the world's worst blood lust/hangover thingy ever to grace gods green earth. But I didn't even drink anything… I think. I know that I am still thirsty by the never ending burning in my throat. A picture of Zero flashes through my mind making the blood lust even more prominent, thus answering my drinking question. For the first time since I have awoken I take in the scenery, back in my grand room in the kuran manor. Still caged. Still alone. I get up slowly getting out of my cloths from yesterday. They drop to the floor and make an expensive pool around my bare legs. I step out and turn to my ridiculously large closet which is stuffed to the nines with frilly girly clothes. I would kill for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt but instead I put on a white summer dress, ruffles and all. I turn to the mirror that hangs to the right of my rose bed and look at myself. A sad homely little creature stares back at me, her eyes shine with a ghost of thirst still flickering there. Her long brown falls around her, messy and wild. She looks like an idiot in this most likely overpriced dress; it takes me a while to realize that I am the lonely girl in the reflection. When I smile she smiles, but even our smiles are hollow now. I turn from the mirror disgusted with what I just saw, and decide to turn towards the double doors that will lead me out to the hallway. I take a left turn and then two rights and find myself standing in the middle of the large study (are you noticing a pattern...). Behind a dark beautiful mahogany desk sits an even more beautiful man. Dark hair covers his bright red eyes which rest on a perfectly chiseled pale face. _He is here,_ I feel my heart soar. He didn't leave. _Yet…_

"Kaname." He lifts his head up and gives me a perfectly straight smile. He stands and walks over to me. He runs one of his hands through my hair the other pulls at my chin, lightly asking permission. I know what he wants and give it to him. I stand on my toes wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. (Me: I am sorry, don't kill me! You: You said this was a Zeki! I go and hide behind Idol-chan) He gives me a predator like smile it makes me want to push away from him, but I don't. I can't hurt this man, like I hurt Zero. Zero! Just that one simple word makes my throat burn and my heart ache with longing. My eyes flash red for nearly a second maybe less, but Kaname still notices.

"You are thirsty." He says a demand more than a question. He wants me to bite him, to be satisfied by his blood and his blood alone. But I can't, I just can't. I want to, I really do, but still he is there, Zero. He is always on mind, forever frowning at my vampire like nature, the animal in me that he can't destroy or protect me from. He is forever alone just like me. God how I wish that there was a little fix it button that I could just press and it would take away all his pain. Yet, I know that these thoughts, if known by Kaname, would most likely cause him infinite amounts of pain.

"uh… Yuki?" His voice brings me back from my thoughts. He has his head cocked to the side much like a puppy. It's so innocent almost laugh but know that it would be inappropriate. After a few moments of awkward silence he decides to take the matter into his own hands with a cold grin on his face. He wraps one of his strong arms around my slender waist, crushing my body to his. The other hand grabs my hair pulling it aside so that he has full view of my neck. He jerks my head back and I let out a moan of pain. I panic, he is so forceful tonight, and I hate to say it but I am scared, terrified really. Oh God he is going to kill me!

_Mommy? Daddy? Help me the big bad man is going to eat me! Help! Please…NO!_

The fear pulses throughout my entire body. I twitch and go limp. He drags his pink moist tongue across my exposed neck. I shudder, for some reason his hunger and need reminds me of Rido. It's so possessive, I feel like a deer in headlights, to scared to do much of anything but stare into the light. Please stop, please! His fangs pierce my skin and I let out a scream. I start to struggle beating his body with my fists, he has no reaction but to drink even more forcefully than before. Blackness starts to creep over my vision, I embrace the oblivion happily.


End file.
